"Sure you can stay here! I mean you're already here...with your bag packed, so...sure..."

Hey Sal,

Around the holidays I have a lot of friends that come back “home” to the burbs, but end up spending much of their time going out in the city, bar hopping, seeing old friends/etc. The problem is, they use my place to crash. Leaving a mess in their wake, they eat what little food I have, and all around put a cramp in my style since I end up feeling as if I have to entertain them. What can I do to remedy this?
- Lauren, Gold Coast

Lauren,

‘I have a second bedroom because I love to have overnights guests.’ If you ever said that, chances are you’ve long since stopped. The trail of late-night Cheeto crumbs, mascara stains on your hand towels, and new ‘plus one’ status are enough to make you want to push your holiday guests into Michigan Avenue traffic. Since when did your home become ground zero for your old friends’ holiday party circuit?

When they got to your place it looked like this.

Let’s stop and think about what is really irritating you. The first thing is that these guests are uninvited and unexpected. So, invite them and expect them. Try planning a ‘night in the city’ and get yourself - and your apartment - ready to entertain. Invite your friends down for dinner and bar hopping, have provisions out for them (towels, food, bedding, etc.) and have a plan for the next day. Make it something you want to do so you don’t feel so out of control. And then, send them on their way. Not only have you done your due diligence as a hostess, but you were ready for it and removed stress from the situation.

Next thing - split the work load. If you have your friends over and take them out during the day, ensure that you pass them off to another friend for the evening. There is no reason you should be the lone holiday work horse in the not-so-OK Corall. Good lines to make this happen are, “I already have plans that night but would love to meet you for brunch the next day,” or “If you’re up for an early night we could grab dinner and then you’re welcome to stay the night.” Take just a piece of their time downtown.

When they left it looked like this.

Lastly, don’t be afraid to flat out say no. If someone wants to crash last minute - unless it’s an emergency (i.e. I came down to stay with a friend and we got in a huge fight and now I’ve missed the last train back to the burbs and am stranded [sob, sob, sob]) - say no. You’ve got a lot going on and you wish you could, but you’re ‘having your boyfriend over for a speeeeecial evening.’ Not comfortable saying something that might stretch the truth - then lay out the options. Yes they’re welcome to stay, but you’re going to bed early and have plans all the next day. The majority of people will pick up on you’re GO SOMEWHERE ELSE vibe.

Happy Holiday Hosting!

(This advice column is brought to you by the ever graceful, polished and in-the-know, Sally Jackson. Sally is happy to offer her tips and guidance on everything from relationships to fashion to saving money. If you have a question for Sally, go ahead and send your question to Info@PoorLittleRichGirls.com with subject “Hey Sal”)