“Hey Sal, All of my single friends have recently paired off, and I’m left alone more and more often as they spend nights in with their boyfriends/man friends/whatever you want to call them. I don’t want to throw a pity party, so I need a strategy to ensure I don’t lose my friends and that I’m still out having fun - even if it’s without my best buds.”
- Tawnie, Andersonville
Oh Tawnie, girl you know it’s true. Every winter the men bed down and snuggle up- much more interested in a bottle of wine and a movie than bar hopping in the freezing cold. But you also know what’s true come Cubs season- spring cleaning! And that means those same dudes are back to their old ways and rounding the bases all over town. Thaaaaaat’s neither here nor there; let’s move on to your problem.
It’s tough when your friends find someone special. Of course you’re happy for them and wish them all the best in their newly initiated relationship, but you suddenly feel very alone. Their bored CTA riding fingers are texting their guy- instead of you- telling him how packed the 22 bus is that morning. And rather than a night of red wine, girl talk, and bad TV, your friend is now cooking dinner with this guy and you’re chatting on the sofa. It can be a tough adjustment, but it’s not impossible or without advantages.
#1. Winter can mean getting in a rut and this is the perfect opportunity to cartwheel right out of it. Explore new places with old friends that you might have not seen in a while. Start packing your day planner with dinners and catch-up drinks. Chances are, you’ll be a busy bee and focus less on your non-buzzing home hive.
#2. Your friend shouldn’t be the only one getting benefits from this new man- you should too. A new guy means new friends, and new friends mean new introductions for you. While you’re getting to know him it’s also a chance for you to get to know his circle of possibly single buds. Go out with them on the weekends. Suggest you all meet up after dinner. Don’t be afraid to 3rd wheel into a new social network.
#3. Call it like it is and keep the rose colored glasses in check. Meaning, when you’re in a new relationship it’s easy to let old relationships fall to the side. Suddenly you’re a ‘we’ and you can’t remember how you ever went grocery shopping alone. So it’s important to- without annoying or playing the ‘poor me’ card- let your friend know that your relationship with her is still important to you, and should be to her too. Keep plans on the books, stay on her radar, and don’t let the fact that you’re spending less time with her hurt what’s been a long and fruitful friendship.
Good luck Tawnie! I think you’ll surprise yourself by just how many great things can come from this. Come Cubs season you’ll be playing the field with a full roster, and some on the bench. Network, explore new things, and keep your chin up!
This advice column is brought to you by the ever graceful, polished and in-the-know, Sally Jackson. Sally is happy to offer her tips and guidance on everything from relationships to fashion to saving money. If you have a question for Sally, go ahead and send your question to Info@PoorLittleRichGirls.com with subject “Hey Sal”













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